Pyromania
by tallbutyoung
Summary: "Kuroko." "Yes, Kagami?" "You do know that tree is on fire." "I am aware." "How'd it catch fire?" "Somebody lit it with a match." "...who?" "Me." A series of loosely related stories following the lives of the team outside of basketball. Crackish... Chapter 5 now up!
1. Pyromania

**_A series of little stories, loosely connected, that go into the strange life of the players outside of basketball. _**

**_Slight ooc, nothing else either than that_**

**_thank you very very very much for reading my first posted story_**

**_humor (or at least what I hope is somewhat funny) ahead - Crackish..._**

_**Pyromania**__: an obsessive desire to set fire to things_

On most ocassions Kagami did not enjoy involving himself in the matters of his teammates that were not directly related to basketball. And this is how it should be; how it should _always_ be. Basketball was the only thing ever worth discussing. But today, Kagami had been confronted with a situation. A situation of a young, blue-haired boy sitting down calmly in the middle of the park, at somewhere close to 8 at night, observing a tree.

A burning tree.

Now, Kagami just had been minding his own business, out on his usual walk through the park after practice to reach the basketball courts. But his normal routine evening had been completely disturbed with the random predictiment in front of him.

The flame headed boy was very tempted to ignore the tree on fire and his teammate to proceed with his normal practice. Actually, he even began to walk towards the courts, attempting to ignore the memory of the sight he had just seen moments before. But the strong smell of smoke had caught up to his nostrils by the fifth step and Kagami was given no other choice, but to turn around with a sigh and approach the boy.

"Kuroko."

"Yes, Kagami?"

"You do know that tree is on fire."

"I am aware."

"Don't you want to do something? Like move away, or put it out..."

Kuroko gave no reaction. He just continued staring at the burning greenery, mere feet away from him with a slightly amused air around himself, as though he were watching fireworks. Kagami just stared down at his teammate, who had not taken his eyes of the tree to even look at him, with a puzzled expression.

"How'd it catch fire?" Kagami asked after he saw that Kuroko was not going to respond.

"Somebody lit it with a match." Was his simple answer.

"...who?"

"Me."

Kagami stared for a few more seconds before uncertainly asking, "Why..?"

Kagami watched as the image of the flames reflected themselves into Kuroko's eyes while a dark, ominous shadow crept over his face as he heard the question. Kuroko, still not breaking his concentration on the flames, replied in an eerily monotone voice holding no emotion whatsoever.

"I make it through everyday without showing any sense of anger or caring. I do this by thinking of each leaf as a different object or person that brings me annoyance, and watching as they all slowly burn into oblivion. This makes me able to unwind and contain myself from venting out all my unexplicable rage on all those around me in spontaneous bursts of flash-anger."

Slowly, he backed away from his friend and continued his trek to the courts.  
That day, he stayed to play basketball, well past midnight, in hopes that he could drown out what he had experience using basketball and block away the memory of his glimpse into the disturbingly, dark depths of Kuroko's mind.


	2. Mungo

**_Thank you so much for reading n to this second chapter. I hope you enjoy what I have typed up for today._**

**_I've decided to make update days Fridays and Saturdays_**

_**humor (or at least what I hope is somewhat funny) ahead - Crackish...**_

**_Mungo_****: **_A dumpster diver, one who extracts valuable things from trash_

"Now, everybody, you are each free to look around and buy one thing for Riko that is not too expensive. We'll meet back here at the entrance in an hour." Announced Seirin's captain, Junpei Hyūga. The entire basketball team had gathered at the mall in search of birthday presents for their manager. "We'll be using the buddy system so remember, if you lose your buddy," a dark, sadistic smile spread across his face, "don't bother coming back."

Hyūga held up a clipboard and began flipping through the pages. "And to review, the list of things we will not be getting her includes: dirty magazines, birth control pills, undergarments, subscriptions to bass fisher's monthly, framed pictures of stranger's babies, tampons..."

Koga began to slowly tune out the voice of his captain. They had gone over this list at least six different times today already and he knew it by heart. Mostly because he'd been the one to make half the denied suggestions on the list in the first place... But never mind that. Right now Koga had to focus on thinking up another idea for Riko's gift.

Now, let's see. Riko was a girl and girls liked pretty things. pretty things like... flowers. Yeah, girls liked plants and junk and green things like that. So he could get her something like... Like...  
A cactus.

"Hey Hyūga!" Koga cut in loudly while obnoxiously waving his hand. "What about plants? Can we get her a plant?"

Hyūga got over his mild annoyance at being interupted to silently contemplate the question. "Plants... Hm..." He rubbed his chin. "I suppose that's exceptable..."

"Woohoo! Come on Mitobe, let's go find the cactus store!" Mitobe was dragged away by his 'buddy' before anybody could react.

"Well... erm, okay. Back to business. Remember to not cause any unneccesary trouble and to carry a phone on you at all times and-"

"Um, Hyūga-senpai," Interupted a powerful voice again.

"What is it Kagami!" He snapped back, irritated about being interupted a second time.

The uncommonly tall redhead seemed to be looking for somebody as he peered around their group. "I think we lost Kuroko."

Everybody took a moment to peer around the area for their shortest companion. "It appears you are right Kagami. Okay then, everybody go off and look for a present, except Kagami. You go find Kuroko." Hyūga declared.

"Wait, Why me?!"

"Because he is your buddy Kagami, and if you do not find your buddy by the time we meet in an hour, you will be left behind to find your own ride home."

Kagami saw that his tone of voice left no room for protest, so, relucently, he began to walk in a random direction to search for the boy while everybody else windowshopped. He pulled out his cellphone and scrolled through his contacts until he reached the name labeled "kuroko".The phone rang twice before a familiar voice picked up.

_"Hello."_

"Kuroko!" Kagami yelled into the phone. "Where the hell are you?"

_"Well good day to you too, Kagami."_ Came the emotionless response which somehow managed to carry the tone of sarcasm.

The star player of their team was momentarily shocked at the out of character sassiness of his friend. After a second he had recovered and repeated,"Where are you?"

A yawn was recieved from the the other end before he answered, _"The mall's child daycare service." _

"...What? Why?"

_"While you and the rest of the team were talking, a mall cop came up to me and told me I had to leave Tetsu #2 in the animal care center. I don't think any of you noticed I left."_ Kuroko explained as Kagami laughed sheepishly for not noticing his shadow's disappearance, once again. _"But after I dropped him off, I got lost on my way back to where everybody else was. Another mall cop found me and saw that i was lost then took me to the day care." _

Kuroko was currently having a miniature teaparty with two other little girls who had let him borrow one of their purple feather boas with matching tiara and boy did he feel fabulous. Screaming kids ran around the colorful day care, throwing toys and picking their noses. A little, brown haired boy approached the tiny table and began obnoxiously yelling, "excuse me! Excuse me Mr. Bluehaired boy! Escuuuuuusssssse me!" As he tried to get Kuroko's attention away from the phone and at him.

"One second, Kagami." Kuroko said into his phone before covering it with his hand and leaning over towards the annoying kid. He looked at him with bored eyes and slowly whispered in an intimidatingly quiet voice, "I will set you and every toy you've ever loved on fire." A terrified expression crossed the boy's face as he shut up.

_"Okay. I'm back."_ Kagami could hear the distant sound of a crying kid in the background._"Anyways, they won't let me leave until I can prove that I'm sixteen."_

Kagami had to restrain himself from outright laughing. "What? They don't believe you're actually in highschool?"

_"This is not amusing._" Kuroko dead panned, silencing his teammate's laughs.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming to pick you up now. I'll be there in a few minutes." He hung up the phone and changed his direction towards the mall's child daycare center.

Kuroko tucked his cellphone back into his pants pocket. "Okay then, Princess Tiffany, Madam Sarah. Where were we?"

One of the 5 year old girls lifted up an empty, pink teapot. "Would you like some more tea, Prince Blueberry Cotton Candy Head?"

"And some more lumps of sugar?" Added the other girl.

"I'd love some."

Kagami had reached the reception desk where a young woman,attractive and most likely in her late twenties, was sitting behind the counter, chewing on her gum(in a rather obnoxious manner actually...).

"Um hello." He waved his hand in front of her face to get her attention off of the magazine she was reading.

"Oh, hey. How can I help you." She asked with a slight hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I'm looking for my teammate. I think he came in as a... Lost kid?"

The lady took out a pen and a notepad. "Name and description please."

"His name's Kuroko Tetsuya. He's about this tall," Kagami indicated the height by lifting his hand to below his shoulder. "Um, his hair's blue, I think his eyes are too..."

"Woah, woah woah," she stopped him, seeming somewhat excited for some reason. "Are you talking about that shorty who came in 20 minutes ago?" Kagami nodded uncertainly. "He's your teammate? You guys are the same age?" Again Kagami nodded uncertainly. "Hey Jerry!" The woman called through a door behind her chair. "Get this, that Bluehaired kid was telling the truth! He really is 16!"

A man appeared through the door. "Oh yeah, we forgot to tell you, April. That kid finally found his I.D. and proved he's actually in highschool. He left about 7 seven minutes ago."

"Man," the receptionist named April cooed. "I thought he was in elementary school when Mickey brought him in. To think he spent all that time in a little kid's day care center..."

"Wait, back up a second." Kagami interupted their conversation and reminded them that he was still there. "Did you just say he already left?"

The man named Jerry spoke up again. "Yeah, it's been like 7, maybe 10 now, minutes."

Kagami said something foul under his breath as he walked away from the desk, ignoring the still laughing April, and pulled out his phone again.

"The hell, Kuroko!" He yelled when he answered.

_"Oh, yeah. Hello Kagami. I forgot to call and tell you, I finally found my ID and was able to prove my age._" Kuroko said in an annoyingly calm voice.

"How do you even forget that!" Kagmi fumed, but took a deep breath to calm down. "Okay, whatever. Where are you now?"

_"I picked up Tetsu #2 and now I'm at the dump behind the mall."_

"...what?"

_"Yeah, I'm hanging out with some mungos."_

It took a bit longer for Kagami to collect himself and process this information. In his head he counted backwards from ten then took to large gulps of air.

"Kuroko..." He started off very slowly. "First of all, what. The hell's. A mungo."

_"A dumpster diver. There's like a whole colony of them behind the mall. They invited me to search for treasure with them." _

"All right... Second of all-"

_"Give me a minute, some more people just showed u- wait a second... Is that?"_

_"Tetsu! Is that you?"_

_"Oh, Hello Aomine. What are you doing here? Are you a mungo too?"_

"The hell? That damn Aomine's there too?

_"Yeah, it's a new hobby I picked up that I do anytime I'm not busy with basketball. Oh, you brought your dog, what's up little buddy?"_

_"Don't call me that."_

_"I was talking to the dog."_

"Kuroko! What is going on?"

_"Oh, hey Kagami. Did you know Aomine's a mungo?"_

_"You're talking with Kagami? Pass the phone, I wanna talk with that assho-"_

"Kuroko, I'm coming right now to pick you up." Without anything more said, he hung up the phone, cutting off the commotion from the other side.

Why did stuff like this always happen whenever Kuroko's involed? One day... Just one normal day would be nice where he didn't have to deal with it...

Kagami checked the time and saw that he had to hurry up. The back exit was on the other side of the mall and he'd have to jog to make it there and back to the meeting point at entrance on time if he wanted a ride home.

A very irritated Hyūga stood alone at the entrance of the mall, tapping his foot irritably with his arms crossed. "They're late" he grumbled to himself as he watched the three figures in the distance weaving their way through the crowd, bumping into and knocking over people.

"H-Hyūga-senpai," Kagami panted as he tried to regain his breath when they finally reached the captain. "I'm sorry we're-"

"Late." Finished the senior, matter-of-factly. "Please be so kind as to explain to me why all three of you are covered in trash, and why, in fact, are there three of you?"

"You see Kuroko, met these Mungos and Aomine was with them, but then he didn't want to leave, so I had to jump in and drag him out then-"

"Mung-what?" He cut in, puzzled. "Never mind that. Did you even bother to get your manager a birthday present?"

Kuroko lifted a jar which held yellow, waxy contents inside. "I found a banana scented candle in the dumpster."

Hyūga just continued to stare disapprovingly at the three. "You know, you could have at least-"

"Captain!" Yelled a sudden voice from behind. "We found the cactus store!"  
They all turned to see an excited Koga running towards them with Mitobe in tow, who was carrying a very large, desert-sized cactus. "Sorry we're so late, it's just that the cactus is so heavy and the store was so far..."

Hyūga silenced him with a sudden holding up of his hand. "No need for explanations. Just answer me two questions. How many of you are there?"

"Two, me and Mitobe."

"Did you get Riko a present?"

"Yeah! This cactus!"

"Okay then you may go join the others. They are waiting on the bus."

Kagami butted in "But captain! They were late, too!"

"Yes, they were. But at least they came back in their buddy pair of two, not with an added member from our rival school," Hyūga glared at Aomine, "and with an actual present, not a jar of wax you found in the dump." Hyūga then glared at Kuroko.

"But!"

"No 'buts'. Now, find your own way home." And with that Hyūga walked, along with Koga and Mitobe, towards the bus where the rest of the team was waiting.

"Ah, man. Now how to we get home?" Kagami asked.

"Well, I brought a bike." Started Aomine. We could tie a wagon to it and I could peddle while you too ride in it."

Kuroko nodded. "That sounds like a good idea."

Kagami stared at them for a very long time with a look of disbelief.

"Both of you... Just shut up."


	3. Novice

**Oh my goodness, thank you all so much for reading and reviewing and favoriting and following! It's too much to take in, I'm so happy that you guys liked my story!**

**Sorry, I'm a bit excited, I've never really done anything like this before and it's a bit overwhelming...**

**Anyways, I wanted to thank Infinite-Skye for pointing out that Kuroko refers to Kagami, and most of the other characters, with a -kun at the end of their name. Thank you very much for pointing out this mistake. And for anybody else who sees any mistakes or wants to make any suggestions, please tell me!**

**Flames, critisism, and anything else will be used to help my writing, not hurt it.**

**_novice: _**_a person just learning something_

Kagami, by now, was a hundred percent used to the weird shit that seemed to be filling up his life lately. He was resigned to the fact that as long as he hung around Kuroko, the goal of normality would never be reached. But today... It was just too much, even for him.

As he unlocked the door to his apartment and walked in, he was greeted with the heavy, unmistakable scent of bacon. Kagami, who owned a black hole of a stomach, probably would not have minded this if it weren't for the fact that he lived by himself and anybody who had access to his home couldn't cook for the life of them.

He raced through the door, not really sure what to expect, but when he rounded the corner to the kitchen, his immediate thoughts were, 'God, why'd I even come home today?'.

"Ah, Kagamicchi! Welcome hom-"

"Get out of my house." Was Kagami's curt answer as soon as he saw the blond headed idiot cooking in his kitchen.

"What?" Pouted Kise. "And after all the trouble I went through to climb in through the patio."

"The hell? I live on the fourth story."

"And I only fell twice."

The silence that followed was both awkward and unwelcome. Kagami decided to break it after ten seconds with a question. "What are you even doing here?"

At the question, Kise sighed. He sat down at the dinning table which held seven full plates of bacon and took a very large breath that indicated his explanation would be very long and annoying. "Oh, Kagamicchi. It's Kurokocchi."

'Of course..." Kagami couldn't help but thinking.

"For a week - a whole entire week! - he's been ignoring me! It's like, I'll be walking down the street and I'll see him, then I'll chase after him, but he'll just run! And, I tell you Kagamicchi, he's way faster than he looks. The one time I did catch him, he threatened to stab me with a fork then let his dog eat my carcass after he finished burning it."

Kagami looked very unimpressed with the story. "So, tell me again, you're in my house because...?"

"Because I need your help! You're the only who somewhat, kinda sorta understands him other than Captain Akashi, of course, but he's really scary and would probably hurt me if I asked him for help. Anyways, you're like an expert when it comes things involving him and I'm just a novice! " Kise squeezed his hands together and lowered his head to beg. "Plllleeeeeaaaaassssssseeeeee!"

Though he knew he shouldn't, Kagami felt the slightest bit of pity for the model. This whole scene was actually really pathetic. Plus during his entire idiotic ranting he was able to use the on slightly intelligent word of 'novice'. "Ugh." He breathed as he slid his hand down his face. "What's in it for me?" Kise slid the plates of bacon forward and looked up at Kagami with hopeful eyes. "Fine."

"Oh, Kagamicchi! Thankyouthankyouthankyo-"

"But only if you promise not to talk!" The tiger-like teen snapped. "Ever again..."

With that, Kagami took a moment to take his hoodie off and drop his book bag on the couch in the living room, since he hadn't had a chance to do so before because of the abrupt disturbance. He plopped himself down next to his bag and took out his cellphone.

"What are you doing?" Asked Kise as he joined the powerful player in the living room to sit next to him on the couch.

"Calling Kuroko." He answered, and before the other could protest he added, "Don't think I'm gonna play therapist between you two. I'm calling him over so that you guys can sort out whatever the hell your problem is, and I don't have to deal with it."

Kise had no time to question his plan, for Kuroko had already answered. _"Hello, Kagami-kun."_

"Kuroko, do you think you can come over right now?" Kagami could hear a dog barking in the distance.

_"Can I bring #2? He wants to come too."_

"What? No way! That stupid dog's been growing and he's to big for the apartment now."

_"He's not that big..."_

"He gained twenty pounds over the weekend. He's half your size."

_"..."_

"Either way, I don't want that demon anywhere near my ho-"

A sudden voice cut in from the background._ "You're going to Kagami's house? I wanna go!"_

_"Oh, Kagami-kun, Ahomine also wants to come."_

"Aomine is with you? Why the hell is he always there when I call?"

_"He invited me and #2 to go dumpster diving with him. I found a really big tub of mayo."_

"Wait, Kagamicchi. What's going on? Why's Aominecchi there?"

"The hell if I know! Kuroko, you can come, but don't bring those two with you."

Kagami could hear the sound of the phone being taken out of Kuroko's hand. _"Ah, come on Kagami! Don't separate Tetsu from his best friend and dog."_

_"Ahomine, I hope you're referring to #2 as my best friend and to yourself as the dog."_

_"That's cold, Tetsu."_

The phone could be heard switching users again. _"Okay, Kagami. Ahomine, #2, and I are on our way."_

"What?! I just said they couldn't-" the line went dead.

"Well, that went well." Kise said cheerfully.

About ten minutes later, there was a knock at the glass balcony door. Kagami, who was drinking from a bottle of water, began to choke in surprise and Kise was scared off the couch. Kuroko stood nonchalantly on the balcony of the apartment, with a medium sized looking #2 in his arms. "We've arrived." The presence-less boy stated obviously as he opened the glass door to the living room. He was covered in trash. "Well, I have at least. Ahomine fell off on the second floor, but he should be up in a few minutes."

Kise, from his position on the floor, asked in shock, "Is that #2 you have there, Kurokocchi? I heard Kagami say he got big when he was on the phone, but this is ridiculous. He's huge!"

"I guess..."

"Kurokocchi, your knees are trembling under his weight. How's it even possible for a dog to grow so fast?"

Kagami was huddled in the corner of the room, trying to get as far away from the dog as possible. His face was a look of bewildered confusion and it took him a moment to gather everything inside his head. "Okay, first of all - hasn't anybody every heard of USING THE FUCKING DOOR?" He started as he motioned in the direction of the proper entrance to his home. "Second, wow that is a big-ass dog; that doesn't really have anything to do with anything, just needed to say it."

"Third," he slowly began to stand as he spoke. "I thought you were ignoring Kise, Kuroko, but you two are talking as if you didn't just climb up four stories through my freaking balcony."

"Ignoring Kise-kun? What do you mean?" Asked Kuroko, choosing to disregard Kagami's first two statements.

Kise had picked himself up off the floor and was standing facing Kuroko." What do you mean what 'do I mean?" He asked. " everyday this week when I saw you outside of school, I ran to you as fast as I could, but you just ran away."

"I think anybody in their right mind would run if they saw somebody going towards them the way that you do." said a voice from behind. Everyone turned to see a dirty looking Aomine dragging himself onto the balcony, panting for breath. He was also covered in mud, trash, and leaves, like Kuroko.

Kise looked slightly offended. "The way I do? What do you mean?"

Once securely on the balcony, Aomine lifted his hands up, a sign meaning he didn't mean to offend him. "No offense, Kise, but it's literally the most fucking terrifying thing when you suddenly appear out of God knows where and all I see is you sprinting down the street towards me, screaming my name out like a freaking banshee. I think it's probably fair to think that you probably ran up to Kuroko like that everyday this week and that's why he ran away."

Kuroko nodded at this while Kise just pouted. "It's because I'm happy to see you guys." He sighed and let his arms fall limply to his sides, defeated. "So you really weren't avoiding me on purpose?"

Kuroko shook his head.

"What about when you threatened to kill, burn and feed me to your dog?"

"Kise-kun, you cornered me into a dark alley and had me pressed up against a dumpster."

"Like I said... I was happy to see you..." Kise scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Anyways, are we good then?"

Kuroko nodded.

Kagami, who had fallen silent during the conversation, spoke up. "Wait, you mean to tell me there wasn't even a problem to start with in the beginning, and all three of you basically broke into my house for no reason?"

All three nodded.

"I... I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to the store to get some milk." Kagami picked his hoodie up off the couch and walked towards the door. "I just need to get away from you people for ten minutes..." Before closing door, as an after thought he added, "don't burn anything."

In retrospect perhaps leaving those three alone in his house was not the best idea. This thought passed through Kagami's mind as he walked through the afternoon streets with a gallon of milk in his hand. But he needed to do something, anything, to protect what was left of his sanity. A nice walk alone to the Gas station would do he trick, he figured.

As he walked, enjoying the quiet, undisrupted silence by himself, his cellphone began to buzz. Kagami could already feel the impending doom as he answered.

"Hello?" Kagami answered, tiredly

An annoyingly cheerful voice answered back._ "What's up Kagamicchi? Enjoying your alone time?"_

"What do you want, Kise? You guys better not have done anything to my apartment."

_"Oh, of course not Kagamicchi! How could you even think of such a thing, don't you trust us?"_ Kagami preferred not to answer the question._ "I give you my word that nothing happened _inside_ your apartment."_ He over emphasized.

"Uh, o-kay..." he said awkwardly. "Why are you calling me?"

_"Hehe, no reason..."_

"Kise, what's going on?"

_"Well you see..."_

"Are you gonna answer the question?"

_"...maybe."_ Kagami could hear strange alarms going off on the other line.

"Wait... Are those police alarms?"

_"Hehe..."_

"Kise, pass the phone to Kuroko right now." Kagami demanded.

There was a brief pause before Kise replied. "_Yeah, about that... He's kinda unconscious and bleeding on the side of the road._"

The Serin player was taken aback by the sudden news, but once it sank in he began to yell into the device. "The fuck Kise! You said nothing happened, I'm giving you ten seconds to explain!"

_"Well, i said nothing happened inside your apartment, not that nothing happened at all... Okay, you see, Aominecchi and Kurokocchi wanted to go across the street to get frozen yogurt, so we left #2 in the apartment and went downstairs, we used the normal way this time, and meant to cross the road. But when it was our turn to cross, Kurokocchi was walking ahead of us, and this car just came our of nowhere and it hit him!"_

"My God, where are you right now?"

_"The back of a police car..."_ Kise replied guiltily. _"I thought that the police were too busy dealing with Aominecchi, that they forgot about Kurokocchi, so I tried to go over to him to give him a hug. He looked like he could really use one, with him kinda bleeding out of his skull and all... But one of the officers saw me and told me to stop. So after my seventh try, he put me in the back of the police car."_ Kagami could hear the sheepishness in his the voice as he finished the idiotic story.

Suddenly a part of Kise's tale stuck out to Kagami. "What do you mean they were dealing with Aomine? What'd that asshole do?"

_"Oh yeah, that. Aominecchi got real angry when the guy who hit Kurokocchi got out of his car, so he smashed a big, empty jar of mayo on his windshield. I think it was the one Kurokocchi got from the dumpster. Anyways, when the police came he started arguing with them, and they're trying to arrest him right now, actually. Wow, you should really see it Kagamicchi. There's like a billion police cars and twenty of them are trying to restrain Aominecchi."_

Kagami didn't need to see to hear the loud, angry yells of Aomine and the cops as they argued."Wait, where's Kuroko right now?" Kagami asked as he abruptly remembered the phantom player.

_"Like I said, the police forgot about him to deal with Aomine. He's still unconscious on the street-"_

Kagami heard the sudden surprised yell of Kise as somebody took the phone away from him. _"Actually I'm right here. Hello Kagami-kun."_

"K-kuroko!" He exclaimed, hearing the monotone voice of the young blunette. "You're okay?"

_"I think so. The car only bumped me, but I hit my head on the ground and I'm bleeding a bit_."

_"A little bit?!"_ Cut in Kise's loud voice _"There's blood gushing down the entire right side of your face!"_

_"shh Kise-kun, the grownups are talking."_ Kuroko hushed_ "Anyways,when I woke up the police had forgotten about me and half of them were focused on pinning Ahomine to the ground. He's still holding them off."_

_"All that matters, right now, is that Kurokocchi is okay!"_ Kise exclaimed happily. Kagami imagined him hugging the small boy on the other line.

_"Do not touch me Kise-kun. They forgot to lock the car door, you can get out now."_ The sound of a door opening and closing was heard. _"Let's go back to the apartment, my head hurts. We'll bail Ahomine out later."_

The line went dead and Kagami stopped in the middle of the sidewalk as he contemplated the idea of going back to his apartment. So many problems could be solved if he just forgot everything that happened, beginning from when he got home to just seconds ago, and he slept on a park bench for the night. Yeah, that would work. He had a gallon of milk anyways, so he wouldn't have to worry about being thirsty.

Kagami sighed as he made his way to the closest park. Maybe he wasn't so used to the crazy shit that happened every time Kuroko was around as he thought he was.

"I guess I'm just a novice after all when it comes to them... But it was just _ten minutes_ that I left them alone for... "

**I am accepting 1 word prompts now! Anybody who has a word that they think is strange or unknown, please message or review me. Along with it, leave the meaning of the word and you can also give a brief summary if you want. **

**Yeah... No real plot in this chapter.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Misodoctakleidist

**I am ****_so so so so sorry for the late update, please do not be upset! I think I have a pretty legit reason though - I graduated from Middle School!_**

**_I haven't had time to write because I've been studying like crazy for my finals, but good news. It payed off! Top score in my class on the French final!_**

_**Anyways, a special thanks to **__Reimei-Jennoir__** for telling me about Kagami's house. I've already read that chapter in the manga and I thought since his place was pretty small since only one person lived there, I could get by on calling it an apartment. I also just took a random, wild guess and said the he lived on the fourth story because when him and Kuroko were out on the patio thingy, it looked like hey were pretty high up.**_

_**Also, a Thank you to a **__guest reviewer__** who pointed out a mix up in the names from last chapter. I have gone back and fixed that, don't worry.**_

**_Thanks again to all who reviewed, and even all of you who didn't review, but still read my story. I will try to get onto some of your suggestions by next chapter._**

_**Woohoo! I become an official high school student this fall!**_

___**Misodoctakleidist: **__someone who hates practicing the piano_

It had been a while since he last had experienced the crazy antics of his underlings, Akashi concluded one day as he walked down a sidewalk which was conveniently located across the street from Kagami Taiga's residence. The Heterochromic leader carried a large duffel bag over his shoulder which appeared to hold a rectangular shaped object within. The former captain of The Generation of Miracles was informed, just this morning, that Kuroko was staying over at the tiger's place since about a week ago due to some head injury. The Bluehaired boy had always been his favorite, so Akashi felt it necessary to see how he was getting along.

Still, there was the slightest bit of doubt as to how truthful this rumor was. Akashi had been told by Midorma, who had been told by Kise and Aomine, and, though he found Midorima to be the most reliable of their little group, the later two had been known to tell fables. But something told the redhead that Kuroko would be there. It was just a premonition, but whenever Akashi wanted something to be true, it always was. Why? Because he was a god.

Or so he liked to believe...

Anyways, the thought of Kuroko not being home did not register in his mind as a legitimate possibly as he picked the locked to Kagami's apartment. Akashi was not one to ask permission to go into somebody else's home. If he wanted to enter, he would. No questions asked. And if anybody told him otherwise, he would cut them.

The click of the lock was a signal that he could now open the door. Akashi entered the apartment with the steps of somebody who owned the place. His strides were graceful and proud and came to an end when he reached the dead center of the living room. There, on the couch, sat the very boy he was looking for, reading a book.

"Hello Kuroko. How have you been? I heard you've been staying at Kagami's home because of some accident." He said nonchalantly to a unsurprised looking shadow who closed the literature he had formally been reading.

"I've been fine." He answered politely, not at all the reaction you would expect somebody to have towards a person who entered your current residence through means of picking the lock. By now he was used to the sudden, usually unwelcome, appearances of his old captain. Akashi was known to give his players surprise visits at the most awkward and unfavorable of times, and Kuroko was probably the only one on the team who didn't mind them. Actually he rather enjoyed them the majority of the time. "It was just a bump by a car, nothing serious." At the concerned look he got from the other boy he added, "Don't worry. Aomine-kun smashed a glass jar of mayo over the driver's head."

Akashi smiled at the Seirin player's answer. "I'm glad to hear that you've all remember what I taught you. 'There is no situation that cannot be handled by correctly using violence to assert your power and show the superior authority you posses over the rest of mankind.'" He quoted himself proudly. As he spoke, he began to remove the large duffel bag from his shoulder and set it on the ground. "I trust you've continued to keep a pack of matches on you at all times?" Kuroko nodded. "Fantastic. The air is dry this time of year, so later we can go to the woods and set fire to a few trees, if you want."

Kuroko patiently listened to Akashi speak, silently wondering what was inside as he watched him slowly unzip the bag. Most people who were familiar with Akashi knew that if he brought a strange, body sized duffel bag into your home, your safest bet would most likely be to run. But Kuroko was very trusting of the captain as he opened the flap to reveal what was inside. In fact the only instance in which Kuroko would feel any sort of fear or discomfort towards him was when he brought up the topic of-

"Pianos. A beautiful type of instrument, isn't it?" Kuroko's mind blanked when he saw the portable electric keyboard that Akashi had set up in the middle of the room. "Have you been practicing the piano lately, Kuroko?"

...

Midorima ran across the streets at top speed toward the direction of the teen, just on the other side of the road. He bumped into women and children, knocked over the elderly, and pushed down toddlers - anything to get there faster. Just moments before, he had recieved a disturbing phone call from his former captain and needed a certain tall rehead's help, as much as he hated to admit it.

"Kagami!" he called, sounding more paniced than he meant to, though anybody who was in his current situation had a right to be alarmed.

Said person stopped walking and turned around to answer the call of his name. Kagami had never been very good at reading other's faces, but the look that Midorima wore could be easily read, even by him. The redhead recognized the expression of pure and undoubtful terror.

The, slightly taller, green haired teen put his hands on each one of Kagami's shoulders and looked him dead in the eye with a grave expression. "Kagami." He said in a serious tone. "Is it true that Kuroko is currently staying at your home?"

"Uh yeah..." Kagami answered, feeling slightly uncomfortable about his lack of personal space. "He was hit by a car last week and got a slight concussion. Since his dad's away on business, I told him he could stay until it healed or his dad gets back." He held up two paper cups "He sent me out to get smoothies and I was just on my way back..."

Midorima's face went completely white at the end of the story and he stayed dead silent. After a few moments Kagami thought he wasn't going to speak at all until the greenette suddenly seemed to revive himself. "Shit!" He cursed as he removed his hands from the other's shoulders and began to sprint in the direction of Kagmi's apartment.

"H-hey!" Kagami yelled after him, surprised, as he, too, began to sprint to catch up. "The hell is going on? Is there something wrong with Kuroko?"

"There's no time to explain! We just need to get there before the violence begins." Midorima held up a butcher's knife seemingly out of nowhere. "It's a good thing today's lucky item is this. We might need it for protection." Kagami came to a sudden halt in th middle of the sidewalk, nearly spilling the milkshakes he held from the abrupt stop. "What's wrong, why did you stop? We have to get there right n-"

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on." He said strictly. "I mean I'm used to dealing with whatever force it is that makes weird shit happen that seems to always revolve around Kuroko, but I deserve an explanation, at least this one time. I mean, you have a-fucking-butcher's-knife, for God's sake."

The taller of the two seemed to contemplate the other's words for a moment. Finally he came to a desision as he spoke up. "Fine, I will tell you. But we need to keep running." Kagami showed that he agreed by picking up his pace until they were back to their former pace. "It's Akashi." Midorima explained as the two raced alongside each other. "He called me a few minutes ago and asked where Kuroko was so that he could stop by and chat. I told him that I thought he was staying over at your place, then he hung up."

"Why's that so bad?" Kagami asked. "I mean, I don't like that guy, he gives me the creeps. But if he just wants to drop in and say hey to Kuroko, why are we in such a hurry? And why do you need a knife?"

By now the two had reached the entrance of the lobby that lead to all of the apartments in Kagami's building. They began to run up the four flights of stairs. "You don't understand. Before he hung up Akashi said something about practicing piano together."

"Again," Kagami said, puzzled, "what's so bad about that?"

"You're still not getting it." He said irritated. "Kuroko hates the piano. He was the one who got along the best with Akashi when we were on the team, and he still does. But the only thing that makes them start to argue from time to time is when Akashi brings up the topic of playing piano."

Kagami continued to look puzzled. "I still don't see the problem. I guess it's bad that they argue and all, but is it really so dangerous that you need a knife to break it up?" Before Midorima could answer Kagami's question, They reached the outside of the door to Kagami's apartment, both of them panting for door was wide open. "The fuck?" The redhead said angerly. "He picked my lock. Can't any one of you Generation of Weirdos get into my house normally without breaking in?" The two began enter the apartment slowly.

Kagami, much like the time when Kise broke into his home, wasn't sure what to expect. But what he walked into was way beyond the boundaries of weird he had set up a week ago.

In his living room stood the former leader of the generation of miracles fiddling around with a few cords on the electric piano that had been set up in the middle of the room. He played a strange, creepy melody and quietly hummed along in a slightly maniacal manner. Kuroko stood facing the captain, some feet away, with his usual blank, unreadable expression. However, something about the bluehaired boy felt... different. Kagami could sense a strange vibe coming from the two that gave him chills. The aura around almost felt like malice. It was almost as if he were watching a horror movie where everything was quiet in preparation for the moment when the monster jumps out from the shadows. The two seemed to not notice the sudden presence of the two who just entered the room.

"What's the matter Kuroko?" Akashi hummed in a creepy voice. "Why don't you play a few cords for me?"

Kagami was officially completely weirded out. What was going on? He looked over to Midorima, who's face had gone back to the white it was earlier. "We're too late..." He whispered through chattering teeth. "It's already begun." The tall Serin player did not have time to ask what the glasses wearing teen meant, for Kuroko began to speak.

"I won't." Kuroko said in a slightly uncontrolled voice, as if he were trying very hard to keep his composure. "You know I hate the piano."

Akashi suddenly slammed both hands on the instrument, creating an ugly sound. "Please, Kuroko. Play me a song." He said in shakily sweet voice as he wore a forced smile.

"Never." The boy responded, this time with a hint of anger.

Kagami was freaking out. The hell? Never had ever even imagined the possibility of Kuroko showing any type of anger. He didn't know the other redhead very well, but he knew that when he was not obeyed, he got violent. He noticed that Midorima's hand went limp and he dropped the butcher's knife.

The smile on the captain's face finally cracked and he raise his voice. "I said play the damn piano!"

The command echoed in the room and was followed by silence as everybody waited to see how the other would react. Slowly, Kuroko walked in front of the piano until he was able to look at Akashi directly in the eye. They stared at each other for what seemed like ages until Kuroko committed a sudden uncharacteristic act of violence.

He knocked over the instrument with a swipe of his hand and then kicked it, sending it flying into the wall. A few keys feel off as it landed in a crumpled heap on the carpet. Kuroko slowly walked over to the instrument and took out a match, lighting it then dropping the flame onto the target.

The smaller Serien player looked back at his captain with hatred in his eyes. "Fuck off." He said in a low, sinister voice.

They all watched as it burned in shocked silence. Midorima was shaking, entire body completely stiff, and were those tears that began to form in his eyes? Kagami himself was about ready to pee himself. He needed to get out of there right now, but his legs wouldn't work. Never had he thought that Kuroko could ever be so intimidating.

Akashi's face was twisted in rage. Out of seemingly nowhere, he pulled out a pair of scissors. "Your death will be my holiday." He growled as he pointed his weapon at the boy

Kuroko did not react to the threat. Instead, also seemingly out of nowhere, he pointed the butcher's knife that he had once been on the carpet floor. The two taller players took a moment to wonder when he had acquired it. "Dead people cannot celebrate holidays." He replied calmly, in his usual monotone, though it sounded like he was trying hard to keep his voice stable.

They both seemed prepared to maim each other without the slightest hint of hesitation, but just as they were about to attack, Kagmai's legs finally began to move. "Hey, four eyes! Snap out of it!" He yelled at Midorima who shook himself out of his daze. In an instant Kagami reached Kuroko and lifted him up by his armpits. Midorima did the same with Akashi. They both dropped their weapons in surprise.

"Midormia! Put me down this instant!" Akashi yelled, snapping out of his murderous trance.

"Kagami-kun. Let go." Kuroko also commanded, though in a much more calm voice, also shaking away the lingering urges to stab.

The two taller teens looked at each other before hesitantly putting down the shorter two. Yet another silence took place until Akashi broke it by coughing into his fist. "Well, Kuroko..." He said in an awkwardly polite fashion. "It's been a pleasure seeing you." Kuroko nodded as a reply.

"I apologize for breaking your piano." He said in his monotone, this time devoid of malice.

Akashi shook his head. "Oh no, that's alright. I have another one at home." He bent down to pick up his scissors and hid them back inside his sleeve. "Well then... I'll see you at 6 for tree burning...?" Kuroko nodded. "Alright, let us take our leave, Midorima. Thank you, Kagami, for letting me into your home."

"You broke in."

"That's beside the point. Goodbye, I will see you later." Akashi and Midorima walked out of the apartment together, Midorima waving a shakey goodbye and closing the door on their way out.

Kuroko went over to the still burning piano and put it out with a fire extinguisher. He nudged the charred remains onto the patio with his foot. The tall redhead sunk onto the couch with a deep sigh, trying to process what had just happened.

"What the fuck was all that about?" He asked tiredly. "It was just a piano. Why wouldn't you play it?"

Kuroko sat down on the carpet floor, scratching at the stitches on his head from the car accident. "Kagami-kun," he began, "you are aware of the fact that Akashi-kun has a god complex and gets very annoyed when others don't do what he says?" Kagami nodded. "Well, in middle school he wanted to show me how to play piano, but I refused, which angered him. He continued trying throughout the rest of our time as the miracles, but could not succeed. So for a year, he has been coming to my home every so often and attempting to make me play. But I've continued to refuse."

Kagami contemplated the story, still trying to make sense of everything. "Wait... But why do you keep refusing to play?" He asked, "If you just play one song, I'm sure he would leave you alone."

"Kagmi-kun. I've already answered your question multipul times: I do not like the piano. That is why I won't play it."

"That's really unreasonable..."

Kuroko sighed. "I suppose I may have a bit of a god complex, myself."

A sudden question popped into Kagami's mind. He was hesitant to ask because he feared the answer. "Do you... Do you think you really would have cut him?"

"Yes. And burnt his corpse afterwards. But that's what friends do." Kuroko said, not skipping a beat. "Like I said, I also have a bit of a god complex. I do not like it when people tell me what to do." The bluehaired boy then rose and walked over to a table by the door where two milkshakes rested. Kagami must have put them there when he had entered. "Good. You remembered the shakes." Kuroko handed one to Kagami and took his place on the couch next to him.

The taller of the two sighed, completely defeated by today's event. "You know Kuroko. When you two where right about to attack each other, and this might sound crazy, but... I could have sworn you looked way more prepared to kill him, than he was you."

The smaller boy took a sip from his drink. "Is that so?"

Kagami looked at the boy trying to read his expression, before slowly breaking down in a deep hearty fit of laughter, unable to breath. For a long minute, all that could be heard though the entire apartment was laughing."You know something, Kuroko?" He finally said between ragged breathes, wiping a tear from his eye. "You're even more intimidating than Akashi."

Once he was able to breath normally again and the only sound that could be heard in the room was the sipping of milkshakes, Kagami began to speak again, only in a softer tone. "When I first let you stay here, I thought you'd just bring a lot of trouble." He began. "But, I dunno, I'm kinda used to it now. It's almost like things would be real boring if you weren't here."

A small twitch of the bluenette's lips was the closet thing Kagami would be getting to a smile.

"I guess I do like having you around after all."


	5. Advocate

**Another late update- I am so sorry. I really have no excuse for this one. Summer vacation just sorta got to me and I've been neglecting all of my responsibilities. Life got in the way...**

**It's a special request chapter! SkylarkOfTheMoon, this is based on your word 'advocate', Thank you so much for reading up to this point!**

**This ones a bit shorter then the last few, just over a thousand words. But I hope I can still entertain you guys, even just a little bit. I feel like this one's ending is a bit fast, I'm not really sure. Even though this one's one of the shortest I've done, it took the longest. I've just been having some writers block, I guess.**

**One word suggestions are still open! Feel free to give me any opinions you have and, like always, don't be afraid to point out mistakes and things you dont like. Anyways, I did the best I could so... Enjoy!**

**Mild swearing, weird crackiness, and (what I hope is) humor up ahead. You've been warned.**

**_Advocate_****:** _A person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy._

'LET US BURN THE TREES'

The large, purple haired boy read the demanding print written on the picket sign. Akashi, who sat up in the tree holding said sign, had a very satisfied look on his face. "Ah, Murasakibara. Have you come to join the resistance?"

Murasakibara took a moment to notice the three miracles and Kagami who sat chained to the trunk of the tree, each one of them looking very agitated. "That depends..." He began slowly as he munched away at a bag of chips. "Will I be chained to the tree, too?"

"Not if you come willingly." Kuroko, who he just noticed was also up in the tree with Akashi, said with a blank look. "Kagami-kun, Midorima, and Ahomine all tried to run when we asked them, so we took precautionary measures."

"What about me?! I said I'd help willingly!" Kise whined from below, flailing his legs because his hands were locked in place by the chains.

"Yes, Kise. But you annoy me." The redhaired captain said cruely, silencing anymore of the model's complaints. "Anyways, so what do you say?"

"Okay." Murasakibara answering nonchalntly as he climbed up to join the two. "So, what are we doing?"

"They're just being idiots." Kagami yelled from below, earning a rock to the face from Akashi.

"No, we're being advocates." He snapped as he stood on the branch, handing Kuroko his sign. "The other day when Kuroko and I were out tree burning, an officer caught us and said that we were not allowed to be out here and then told us that he was going to take us to the police station. Can you believe that? The nerve!"

Midorima cleared his throat, trying to gain attention to himself so that he could speak. "Actually, like I've explained six different times already, Akashi, tree burning is illegal. The officer had full rights in attempting to arrest you..." Akashi glared at his former teammate while holding up a rock as a warning. The greenette went back to being silent.

"Like I was saying, the reason we are here is to legalize tree burning."

"That's not going to happen." Aomine scoffed under his breath. Kuroko threw a rock at him without hesitation.

"Well, that's cool I guess." Murasakibara said as he continued to eat his bag of chips.

"That's a very good attitude, my tall friend." Akashi praised. "Keep that up and you may continue to stay up here."

Suddenly, they all stopped speaking to listen to the sound of a motor pulling up in the distance. The engine went quiet and within the next few moments they could hear approaching footsteps crunching through the woods. An officer made his way toward their tree.

"Hey! I thought I already told you kids that you couldn't be here!" The man yelled as he held one hand near is gun.

Kagami was wildly kicking his legs and squirming, trying to get free. "Holy shit, the police showed up!" He hissed under his breath to Aomine. "Man, I can't get arrested, they might kick us off the basketball te-"

"Hey, you! What are you going on about?" The cop questioned, pointing at Kagami. He immediately stopped figeting. "Why are you kids chained to that tree?"

Akashi jumped down from his branch and landed gracefully on the ground. "This is a protest! And none of us are leaving until tree burning is legalized!" He announced as he pointed at the cop.

Aomine tried to get the officers attention."Actually, us down here are not apart of this. We are being held here against our-" Kuroko threw another rock at him.

"Alright, kids, that's enough of this. Now, I'm taking you all down to the station." The cop took out his walkie talkie and pressed it against his mouth. "Yeah, I'm gonna need a few more cars over here. We've got a couple of kids causing some problems - four chained to a tree and-"

"Murasakibara, now!" Akashi suddenly demanded. He was down from the tree and on the cop in the blink of an eye, following the shorter's orders without a second thought. He pushed the man down with both hands and Akashi was at his side in an instant to take the walkie talkie and smash it with his foot. "Now lets chain him to the tree, as well."

"Murasakibaracchi! I wanna help, too!" Kise yelled, somehow breaking free of the chains by wiggling around madly. The rest of the chain went loose with the absence of a fourth person and the remaining three were able to also get free.

"Wait, Kise, you idiot!" The captain yelled. "Kuroko, stop them from getting away!"

"Sorry, Akashi-kun. I am bored of this." The phantom player monotonously answered as Kagami helped him done from the tree.

"What?! You little traitor!"

"Murasakibara, I will give you two bags of chips if you let the cop go." Aomine bribed.

The tall teen, who was currently, pinning the police officer to the ground, contemplated it in silence. "Six."

"Six bags?! That's completely unreasonable-"

"It's a deal!" Midorima said, smacking a hand over Aomine's mouth. Murasakibara got up, releasing the man.

"Don't you dare." Akashi threatened, but was promptly ignored as the much taller teen trotted off to join the other side.

Kise put a hand on the frustrated redhead's shoulder. "Don't worry, Akashicchi! I'm still here for you."

"Shut up, Kise."

Kagami noticed the officer begin to push himself back up. "I think we should go now!" He prided as he and Kuroko began to run. The other three followed suite.

Akashi looked torn as he glanced at the cop, then to the backs of the retreating teens. "Damn." He cursed as he suddenly ran after them.

"Waah! Wait for me!" Kise whined as he followed his former captain.

"Stop right there!" The cop yelled desperately as he put his hand on his gun, but discovered that it was no longer there.

"Look, Kagami-kun. I took his gun." Kuroko said proudly as he offered the dangerous object to the taller teen. "Please. Take it as a token of my apology for chaining you to a tree."

"The hell, Kuroko! When'd you even get that!" Kagami yelled as he took the object away from the boy and chucked it over his shoulder. "Why do things always end with you pulling some kind of weird shit."

"Ah, you know you love me Kagami-kun." Kuroko said with a blank face as they ran alongside each other, leading the group. In response, the redhead kicked the other boy's leg, causing him to fall over. "You cannot hide from the love." He yelled as everybody quickly passed him and he was left running in the very back of the group.


End file.
